"It is difficult to change our lives because we constantly tell ourselves stories about who we are and what we’re capable of. However, your story is often changing, so you may feel compelled not to mention anything until it is certain or has already happened; we aren’t something, until we are."
Sarah Kathleen Peck offers some advice on answering the dreaded “So, what do you do?” question.
Also see Philippa Perry on how revising that inner storytelling keeps us sane and Timothy Wilson on why it’s the root of psychological change.
According to a great deal of research, positive fantasies may lessen your chances of succeeding. In one experiment, the social psychologists Gabriele Oettingen and Doris Mayer asked 83 German students to rate the extent to which they “experienced positive thoughts, images, or fantasies on the subject of transition into work life, graduating from university, looking for and finding a job.” Two years later, they approached the same students and asked about their post-college job experiences. Those who harbored positive fantasies put in fewer job applications, received fewer job offers, and ultimately earned lower salaries. The same was true in other contexts, too. Students who fantasized were less likely to ask their romantic crushes on a date and more likely to struggle academically. Hip-surgery patients also recovered more slowly when they dwelled on positive fantasies of walking without pain…
Fantasies hamper progress [because] they dull the will to succeed: “Imagining a positive outcome conveys the sense that you’re approaching your goals, which takes the edge off the need to achieve.”
The negative side of positive thinking.
Pair with similar wisdom from The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking.
(↬ The Dish)
"Since the day I was born, I have been aware that the criminal justice system in America is bizarrely horrible and weirdly tolerated."
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